Typically when I talk about what you need to do to attract your ideal customer, I focus on getting to know them, understanding what they need and helping them make the purchase decision that is right for them.
And all of these things are crucial to building a successful business.
However, there is another element we need to focus on and that is your behavior and energy.
I believe that reflecting on and understanding your behavior as a consumer of content, products and services is also vital. Your attitudes and mindset to buying could be impacting how you sell!
This blog is a summary of a related podcast episode.
How your consumer behavior impacts how you show up
To help you understand the connection between how you behave as a consumer, I want to share one of my own ‘aha’ moments. When I started my journey with Tandem Nomads I was initially very reluctant to put myself out there on social media. Eventually I realized that the thoughts and opinions I had as I was scrolling were what was actually holding me back. I was comparing myself to others and judging. I was so focused on ‘not being like that’ that I wasn’t thinking about how I wanted to show up and serve my community. I wasn’t even trying to find my own voice. And all that judgement? I was worried about how I would be judged.
I cannot stop people from judging and having opinions but I can choose not to care about them! Once I understood my own behavior was influencing my approach, I stopped comparing myself to others and worrying about other people’s reactions that I cannot control. That’s when I started to find my own unique voice and content.
The key was to let go of all those negative feelings and ideas and bring some positive energy to experimenting with social media. Try to be curious, playful and just enjoy the experiment. Even it doesn’t work out as you had hoped, you will still gain valuable insights that will help you improve and grow.
I want to make two important points about social media. Firstly, you do not need to do it but you need to figure out if you are reluctant to embrace it as a way to connect with your customers is coming from your own fear mindset or because it is really not right for you. Reflecting on how you consume it could help you work that out! Secondly, you can avoid social media and still be successful. You cannot avoid selling and still be successful.
What are you thinking when you buy?
Think about the last time you made a significant purchase, for example, an online course. Did you spend time analysing all the information before you made your choice? Did you bring negative thoughts into the transaction, because you had a fear of making the wrong choice, investing your money and time in something that might not serve you? You may even find that these feelings impact your behavior when you finally make a decision to buy. Your fear of regret or failure impacts all of your interactions with the product or service.
These negative thoughts show up when you start to sell – because how you think is how you expect others to think about you!
You need to be mindful of the energy that you put out there. If you are feeling fear of rejection or judgement, you will not be able to share the excitement, confidence and positivity you need to inspire your ideal customer to buy from you. Being aware of your own thought patterns and behavior as a consumer can help you let go of your negative patterns and free you to show up more authentically and positively.
I learned so much about this from my own experience of evaluating and buying all sorts of products and services.
For instance, a friend of mine recommended that I check out a video from a woman who was promoting an online program. As I watched the video I realized how much I was put off by the style of the presentation. Her appearance was triggering me in such a strong way.
What was triggering me even more than the video was realizing the negative thoughts I was entertaining while watching this person speaking. I was feeling such strong negative emotions and judgements about her. I could have just ignored this video instead of feeling so triggered and annoyed with it.
So to challenge myself and dig deeper to understand what was going on, I decided to purchase the program and see if I could proactively challenge myself to change my attitude towards the way I was dealing with this video.
To be fair, I don’t think I would have purchased the program if it had not been recommended by a friend that I trusted. Big shoutout to her, thank you Agnieszka!
Interestingly, the first lesson of this program by Anne Melanie Layer from Alpha Femme was about “context”, but also about the way we behave as consumers and how that affects our way of doing business. What a crazy coincidence, isn’t it?!
I found her insights so interesting and powerful. Also, suddenly all the judgments I had about her initial video were gone. I am even grateful to her as she inspired me to come up with this blog/podcast episode that I hope will also invite you to look at your own consumer behavior.
My buying behavior was all about the superficial, the external things. Since then, I have been proactively choosing the right thoughts and energy as a consumer to make sure that I make the best of my experience when I buy a product or service.
In fact, I realized how many opportunities we are missing to benefit from a product or service when we come from a place of judgment, instead of a place of knowing. The place where we trust what’s right for us or what is not, without letting our judgements, bad experiences, biases and fears lead our choices and how we interact with what we are exposed to.
How to shift your behavior to sell better
Here are my tips for shifting some of your negative thought patterns and behaviours, so you can show up more authentically for your potential customers.
- Free yourself from your fears: if you stop caring about what other people think of you, or even other fears you have, you will be amazed what is possible. This will free you to be yourself making others more excited to buy from you.
- Be an enthusiast and share the love: how often do you read something online that you appreciate and take the moment to like, share and comment? If you experience great service, or even just read a great book, tell people about it! It is important to put out the great energy that you want to get, and it will build relationships. If you don’t like something, notice what you are reacting to and then move on. Don’t let it take up your energy or space in your mind. It will only distract you from focusing on what’s actually important.
- Start with positive intent: when you buy a product or service, don’t expect the worst. You can choose to believe that it is possible for it be awesome! You can also choose to make the best of it and be the driver of creating a great “customer experience” for yourself, even when things are not as good as you expected.
- Deal with disappointment: When things are not as good as expected, share the feedback but also look at what you learned from it despite the negative experience. I once invested a five figure sum in a program that did not live up to my expectations at all. It was a huge disappointment. I reflected on my experience and provided some constructive feedback to the company that I believe did not deliver on their promise. But I also thought about what value I did get. I realized that I had met an amazing group of people, many of whom are still important to me today. I made a decision to free myself from all the negativity of my disappointment and focus on the positive aspects.
The key to this behavior is to let go of the negative feelings and fears – they are consuming and exhausting and they will stop you from showing up in a way that attracts clients. You need to shift to the thoughts that will serve you and your business.
What can you learn from paying attention to how you consume and buy? I invite you to take a moment and reflect on how you think and feel, and to consider how that impacts how you sell. You may be surprised and you may find that it helps you make some major shifts in your business.